was that too much to ask?

it's been 2 years already. Time has flown so fast. I never would have imagined that I'd be living like this. Nor can Imagine how i got my ass through last weekend, but with a bit of luck and a lot of faith, everything came through, one way or another.

Now the main point of this post, something i just have to get out...

Was that too much to ask? apparently so. then again, I half expected it already, but still. I would have loved for you to be there, but I can't physically drag you there and make you sit down and listen, besides, that's not my style. For someone with barely any training, I think I've gotten quite far. I dunno, I guess I'm just really upset. "if we wake up..." ? yeah, great. ok. I should have known then. ugh. Mind you, I'm not upset because you didn't go, I'm upset because you didn't even try. not even a message before I asked. Times like this, I wish I could just strap on my wings and soar.. fly high, forget about Icarus and just soar, Be myself, rock on.

I remember after the mass, telling myself, don't lose you cool, keep you head up, pull yourself together. Just channeled my energy towards something productive. I guess that's it, it's always been this way anyway, just a matter of what to do next.

Just smile, take it all in, and use it to make myself better.