Cuando, Donde O Lo Que Sea

If you change, does that make you a different person?

Someone who used to be the most important person in the world to me always tells me to compartmentalize things and not to dwell on everything…
But that’s obviously not me.

I’ve been doing my fair share of thinking.. and well, that’s how I roll. I soar and crash and burn way too much, but it’s in the same that I get my ass through really long days, overtime hours, lack of sleep and little, if any pay. I think I do well (if you could call it that) precisely because of the passion I bring to what I do.

Which leads me to a few weeks ago. Long and short of it is, I snapped. I can think of many reasons, but it was essentially that I burned out. From there, it’s been an inexplicable state of trudging along yet seeing things almost in slow motion and bearing the weight of each and every moment.

Then, someone I look up to offered me a project. Granted, I’m not talented enough, I pulled in 2 people whom I trust completely for this. But the way he phrased it: “I want to put my money on you.”

Come now a disagreement here at home. I don’t want to get into details here, just that it happened after a long day at work, and while the person who’s mad at me has a point, I really feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick, although since then finally got everyone what they want (more or less and pending applications, but yeah, hopefully case closed soon).

I guess the arrangement I did recently (thank you Teta and Mike) is quite fitting. Longing for a certain satisfaction or fulfillment that in all honesty, I don’t know where to find anymore. Head up, I can do this.

“Y lo que te haga falta
Por todo tu ser moriria
y si al fin deseas el amor en mi

Cuando, Donde o lo que sea”

I just wish I could sell the prestige like the best of them. After all, the magic is just an illusion, what makes it magic is that you get the audience to believe