cross posted from my LJ
I was hoping not to have to write this entry, but some things just have to be said.
Yes, I've been staying below the radar, not out of cowardice mind you, but because I didn't want to shake things up further. Unlike someone else, I'm not the type to try and piss any of you off, believe me, I could have, but I just kept my distance, hoping that you would realize something...
I know at the onset, I didn't handle this well, and I actually understand where you're coming from... but I honestly can't help but feel like I'm the object of a witch hunt. of the 3 of you, 1 kept silent, didn't ask me for any explanation for anything, I approached one when I didn't know what to do and I was trying to fix it, only to get chastised and condemned, and the last one I thought was at least decent enough to try and ask for my side about this, but then again, I now realize I was condemned even before the question was asked.
All well and good, it's quite easy to condemn someone like me. that doesn't really matter. In all honesty, I'm sad because I feel that I lost 3 people I considered friends... then again, it's hard to lose something you never had in the first place.
But that's not why I'm writing this.
Just in case any of you haven't noticed, she doesn't run to any of you or seek any of your advice. in fact, every time any of you present your plan or tell her to stop loving me, she does get hurt... and guess who she runs to. notice, it's not any of you. I may not see it all the time, and I do let her down, but she runs to me.
Bottom line, we don't get along perfectly. We do argue a lot and fight quite often. but beyond all this, we sit down, talk and work things out. We both know how we stand with each other, and we respect that, and we respect each other and what we do. Often times, we won't understand what the other is doing or even get mad at the other person for something that might even be our fault. Yes, it hurts both of us sometimes (even often), and she complains to her friends, and I complain to my friends (for both cases obviously not to the 3 of you), but when it comes down to it, we sit down, talk to each other and settle our issues.
I know at the start of this all, I made a mistake. if the 3 of you want to condemn me for that, go right ahead, but please for her sake, see this... whether or not you want to see this, we do work things out. it's definitely a bumpy road, but we get through it. and we do this, without you, any of you. believe it or not, you guys actually just make things worse.
and one last thing, you may think what you want, but believe it or not, it's not always because of me that she gets hurt, but then again, I've always been the asshole, so go right ahead, blame me for all the pain she's felt. by the way, just in case you don't know, I'm also responsible for poverty and hunger in the third world, and the recent East Asian tsunamis, and the lack of education, and for american imperialism and the evils of globalization and all of the world's other problems. crucify me then.
I never wanted to write this. I was hoping you would realize this by yourselves, but then again, it's come to a point where I can't take this lying down anymore.
this is the first and last time I'm going to bring this up, not because of anything, but because if you haven't noticed, it's not even an issue between the two of us...
oh wait, you haven't noticed. exactly why I have to write this.
Yes, I've been staying below the radar, not out of cowardice mind you, but because I didn't want to shake things up further. Unlike someone else, I'm not the type to try and piss any of you off, believe me, I could have, but I just kept my distance, hoping that you would realize something...
I know at the onset, I didn't handle this well, and I actually understand where you're coming from... but I honestly can't help but feel like I'm the object of a witch hunt. of the 3 of you, 1 kept silent, didn't ask me for any explanation for anything, I approached one when I didn't know what to do and I was trying to fix it, only to get chastised and condemned, and the last one I thought was at least decent enough to try and ask for my side about this, but then again, I now realize I was condemned even before the question was asked.
All well and good, it's quite easy to condemn someone like me. that doesn't really matter. In all honesty, I'm sad because I feel that I lost 3 people I considered friends... then again, it's hard to lose something you never had in the first place.
But that's not why I'm writing this.
Just in case any of you haven't noticed, she doesn't run to any of you or seek any of your advice. in fact, every time any of you present your plan or tell her to stop loving me, she does get hurt... and guess who she runs to. notice, it's not any of you. I may not see it all the time, and I do let her down, but she runs to me.
Bottom line, we don't get along perfectly. We do argue a lot and fight quite often. but beyond all this, we sit down, talk and work things out. We both know how we stand with each other, and we respect that, and we respect each other and what we do. Often times, we won't understand what the other is doing or even get mad at the other person for something that might even be our fault. Yes, it hurts both of us sometimes (even often), and she complains to her friends, and I complain to my friends (for both cases obviously not to the 3 of you), but when it comes down to it, we sit down, talk to each other and settle our issues.
I know at the start of this all, I made a mistake. if the 3 of you want to condemn me for that, go right ahead, but please for her sake, see this... whether or not you want to see this, we do work things out. it's definitely a bumpy road, but we get through it. and we do this, without you, any of you. believe it or not, you guys actually just make things worse.
and one last thing, you may think what you want, but believe it or not, it's not always because of me that she gets hurt, but then again, I've always been the asshole, so go right ahead, blame me for all the pain she's felt. by the way, just in case you don't know, I'm also responsible for poverty and hunger in the third world, and the recent East Asian tsunamis, and the lack of education, and for american imperialism and the evils of globalization and all of the world's other problems. crucify me then.
I never wanted to write this. I was hoping you would realize this by yourselves, but then again, it's come to a point where I can't take this lying down anymore.
this is the first and last time I'm going to bring this up, not because of anything, but because if you haven't noticed, it's not even an issue between the two of us...
oh wait, you haven't noticed. exactly why I have to write this.
posted by blurred at 7:31 PM
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