a close friend, someone who loves me, someone I love and a possibility
when I thought things were finally sorting themselves out, well...
a very close friend's unrequieted love recently came back from the states after a year and so. surprisingly, she's taking all this quite well.. abit frazzled and panicky at times, but on the whole, holding up pretty well. Even if you watched constantine tonight when we were supposed to watch it together, i'm still here by your side...
this weekend was an extremely long one concerning the one that loves me. I don't know anymore if it's me not being a friend enoug to her, or if she's demanding too much from me, or whatever. we had a very long discussion about this.. I think we were more or less able to work things out... which leads me to something else.. I wonder how some people's special project is going? quite frankly, they really have no business sticking their noses in something they're not directly involved in and running amuck. I know I made a mistake, and I didn't hide behind anything. I apologized, and I'm paying my dues.. thing is, we worked things out... without you, any of you. furthermore, I do see your "concern" but thing is, I never tried to play her for a fool. ask her if you want.. but then again, it's me, and I just gave you guys an excuse to hate me and "never trust me again." then so be it. if you guys want to condemn me for something you're not directly involved in, then go ahead. I'm just thankful I know better now.
whew.
after watching dreamboy yesterday, I realised, I do love you.. or at least like you alot to lead to that except that I don't have enough to give. You'll probably never get to read this, but I had another chance to complicate things even more last night, and I was finally able to say no. too late, lesson learned, but way too late. I'm really sorry I hurt you. there simply is no excuse for what I did. I don't know anymore if it was all a big fib, but when I look back, the moment I've felt most to loving and being loved in return was when we talked that saturday night during my batch. and How that went to absolute crap in a matter of days... simply put, I was dead wrong. Right now, all I can do is keep my distance, excile if you will. hoping and praying that you're happily moving on, that you may someday meet someone who can make you deloriously happy as I wasn't.
which leads me to a possibility, which right now, I don't really want to entertain. in all probability, I'm just amused that we have quite a few common interests and stuff, and that I'm probably just looking for someone to have beside me.. this will all probably fade in a few weeks or so.. besides, just scroll up to read up on my unresolved issues...
oh well, nothing really new.
crawling, but no other way but to move forward.
a very close friend's unrequieted love recently came back from the states after a year and so. surprisingly, she's taking all this quite well.. abit frazzled and panicky at times, but on the whole, holding up pretty well. Even if you watched constantine tonight when we were supposed to watch it together, i'm still here by your side...
this weekend was an extremely long one concerning the one that loves me. I don't know anymore if it's me not being a friend enoug to her, or if she's demanding too much from me, or whatever. we had a very long discussion about this.. I think we were more or less able to work things out... which leads me to something else.. I wonder how some people's special project is going? quite frankly, they really have no business sticking their noses in something they're not directly involved in and running amuck. I know I made a mistake, and I didn't hide behind anything. I apologized, and I'm paying my dues.. thing is, we worked things out... without you, any of you. furthermore, I do see your "concern" but thing is, I never tried to play her for a fool. ask her if you want.. but then again, it's me, and I just gave you guys an excuse to hate me and "never trust me again." then so be it. if you guys want to condemn me for something you're not directly involved in, then go ahead. I'm just thankful I know better now.
whew.
after watching dreamboy yesterday, I realised, I do love you.. or at least like you alot to lead to that except that I don't have enough to give. You'll probably never get to read this, but I had another chance to complicate things even more last night, and I was finally able to say no. too late, lesson learned, but way too late. I'm really sorry I hurt you. there simply is no excuse for what I did. I don't know anymore if it was all a big fib, but when I look back, the moment I've felt most to loving and being loved in return was when we talked that saturday night during my batch. and How that went to absolute crap in a matter of days... simply put, I was dead wrong. Right now, all I can do is keep my distance, excile if you will. hoping and praying that you're happily moving on, that you may someday meet someone who can make you deloriously happy as I wasn't.
which leads me to a possibility, which right now, I don't really want to entertain. in all probability, I'm just amused that we have quite a few common interests and stuff, and that I'm probably just looking for someone to have beside me.. this will all probably fade in a few weeks or so.. besides, just scroll up to read up on my unresolved issues...
oh well, nothing really new.
crawling, but no other way but to move forward.
posted by blurred at 8:35 PM
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