on the one that got away and billy deagan

I have a report in 7 and a half hours, and as usual, my thoughts are wandering. 8 hours on the bus going and 14 coming back definitely did not help much...

I just realized that I haven't been really happy since January. Crap.

I just finished an episode of Boston Public. I really need to figure out what I want. I wish I were a kid again, that I could dream big, and learn how to work my ass of for those dreams. It's weird coz I've killed myself for so many things that are, to say the least, blotches from my past. Maybe that's part of it. Ok, maybe I haven't altogether kicked being jaded. From almost being kicked out, all it took was one person to come in 2 hours early and push from illiterate to 1500 in PSAT's in 2 and a half years, this when nobody else wanted to give him a chance anymore...

what happened so many months ago still haunts me. I'd write a lot of other stuff here, but I know that there are some people who read this that, well to put in a nice way, I simply don't trust.

On another note.. (but before that, I want to clarify that I'm not writing this to rub things in or anything, this is what I think and is not meant to offend anyone in any way) One of my orgs had a meeting recently, one in my opinion that could have been avoided and/or allowed for had they listened to me when I tried to speak up. Now I'm left with the decision if I can or if I should get back to how I was then, giving it as much time and effort as I once did...

okay, enough emo crap and angsts. Back to work.